February 2009
7 posts
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My new Teen Lit. Book, Due out next Spring
Reverse Frankenstein by Justin J Justin
Here are some excerpts, please enjoy;
Chapter 16:
“Fucking is out of the question.”
Chapter 17:
and they got out of bed, together. Frank, “you’re lucky I didn’t rip your arms off.”
Chapter 29:
“Pitchforks be damned, this High School is a bitch!”
Chapter 42:
“There is no way will be ready before...
In the closet with Justin J Justin on the Long...
Justin J Justin – We are here today with Halo Sim, DJ amazing. Mr. Sims, Welcome to the Closet.
Halo Sims - THANKS, NICE TO BE HERE.
JJJ - Halo, May I call you that?
HS - EVERYBODY ELSE DOES. YOU MIGHT AS WELL.
JJJ - Thanks. First, was that you or me?
HS - IF IT WERE ME YOU WOULDA HEARD IT BUDDY. STINKS LIKE A RAT'S ASS, DON'T IT?
JJJ - What did you have for lunch, I guess dinner, and what did you have for dinner? Really fess up! Maybe it was my assistant. Ronald, Was that you? When you gave me the water did you fart? I'm really sorry Halo, may I call you that?
HS - THAT QUESTION SEEMS FAMILIAR. UM. LET ME THINK. OK. GO AHEAD.
JJJ - Ok, let’s start. I first heard your Hong Kong Radio Hour through a mutual acquaintance's Blog. Do you know what a Blog is? It's short for something, come on you know. What is it?
HS - HEY ZEUS MARIAH! SHIT. WHERE'S THAT BOTTLE OF WHISKEY I WAS PROMISED FOR DOING THIS? I FEEL LIKE I MIGHT NEED MORE THAN A FEW STIFF ONES TO GET THROUGH THIS.
JJJ - Do you think it's lame that we don't just call them Web logs?
JJJ - I wrote a little song do you want to hear it? "I Blog, You Blog, We all scream for Web Logs." You may notice that I adapted an old folk song and updated it. Please tell me a little about yourself, when do you first get into radio? When did you first, you know, do it?
HS - BEFORE YOU WERE BORN, SON. I THINK TRUMAN WAS IN OFFICE. WHERE'D YOU SAY THAT WHISKEY BOTTLE WAS?
JJJ - you think I should fire my assistant for farting right before the interview? Ok, can we talk about your name? Halo Sim. Halo - A video game set in 2550 where humans battle an Alien Species. I don't mean Mexicans from Space. Sims – Another video game in which you create your own universe. Is there something to this, please explain.
HS - THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M GOING TO ANSWER ANY MORE QUESTIONS UNTIL I'VE GOT SOME DAMN WHISKEY IN ME. GOD, IT STINKS IN HERE. IT REALLY FUCKING STINKS. I THINK I MIGHT VOMIT BLOOD AT SOME POINT IF THIS PLACE AIN’T AIRED OUT. OPEN A FUCKING WINDOW FOR CHIRST'S SAKE!
JJJ – True, Sorry for the delay. Ronald! Ronald, for fuck sake! Please bring Mister Sims his bottle of whiskey. And open a Window. And bring me a slice of that savory sandwich loaf! Halo, would you like some?
HS – AS LONG AS IT REALLY IS SAVORY. THERE'S NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN A SANDWICH LOAF THAT COMES ALONG ADVERTISING ITSELF AS BEING SAVORY, EXCEPT WHEN YOU BITE INTO THE DAMN THING IT TASTES LIKE A DRY HUNK OF MUTTON SHIT JAMMED BETWEEN A DAY-OLD CROISSANT. HELL, I'LL TAKE A CHANCE ON IT I GUESS. NEED SOMETHING IN MY GUT TO POUR THAT WHISKEY OVER.
JJJ – Your Whiskey, my good man. I was just thinking of something you said earlier.
HS – FINALLY. AH. MOTHER'S MILK. THAT'S THE TICKET. THIS DON'T EVEN NEED ICE. DAMN GOOD STUFF.
JJJ – I saw the Truman show. So it hasn't been that long. What did you think of James Carrey?
HS – DIDN'T HE RUN FOR PRESIDENT A FEW YEARS BACK? DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM, EXCEPT THAT HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE A LOPSIDED PRUNE, AND HE'S NOT A VERY GOOD JOKE TELLER.
JJJ – I love him, he cracks me up. Did you see his new film, "Say Liar Liar Man"
HS – THE LAST TIME I WENT TO THE MOVIES IT COSTED TWO BUCKS. I REMEMBER I SAW A JOHN HUSTON FILM CALLED THE NIGHT OF THE IGUANA. RICHARD BURTON WAS GREAT IN THAT, PLAYING THAT DRUNK TOUR BUS DRIVER DOWN IN MEXICO. IT REALLY HELPED KIND OF SHAPE ME AS PERSON. I STILL FIND MYSELF THINKING ABOUT THAT MOVIE FROM TIME TO TIME.
JJJ- Ah yes quite a good film. “My unicorn is just a horse now, Tom whatever should I do?”
JJJ – Influences? Are they really worth it?
HS - OH. I DONT KNOW. I MEAN, WELL...DAMN, THIS IS GOOD WHISKEY. UM. WHEN'S THAT SAVORY LOAF GETTING HERE? I COULD USE SOME FUEL. YOU KNOW, I CAN'T KEEP RUNNING JUST ON LIQUOR. ARE THEY WORTH IT? WELL, LET ME SEE HERE...I'M NOT SURE I CATCH YOUR WHOLE DRIFT THERE KID. LET ME PONDER THAT IN THE PISSER. OLD HALO'S BLADDER AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE. I'M GONNA GO TROT MY WAY TO THE FACILITIES AND SHAKE A LEG. BY THE WAY, WHERE THE HELL'S THE BIG MAN'S ROOM IN THIS PLACE?
JJJ – Oh, please. Out the Door and down the hall n oats.
JJJ- (While Halo is away) Ronald get over here. Don’t worry I’m not going to fire you. Man I’m full of gas. I must be that loaf. So how do you think its going?
Ronald – It’s…
JJJ – Yeah, I know. Nailed it! Like Jesus to the cross! Okay, he’s coming back, get out of here. There’s only room for me. (Halo Returns)
HS – SORRY 'BOUT THAT. HAD TO GO SHAKE HANDS WITH THE WIFE'S BEST FREIND THERE.
JJJ – Welcome Back! So is there anything you left out?
HS – PROBABLY. BUT THAT'S OK. THERE AIN'T ROOM FOR EVERYTHING. BY THE WAY, I THINK SOME SMALL ANIMAL MIGHT'VE DIED IN YOUR LITTLE CUBBYHOLE OF A BATHROOM THERE. I WOULD'VE LIT A MATCH BUT I WAS SCARED THE PLACE MIGHT BLOW UP. IS THERE A GAS LEAK IN HERE? I SMELL GAS...WAIT. WHAT THE HELL WAS THA...
JJJ – Great Thanks for the interview. Now Back to you regularly scheduled programming.
