Wisdom, Stuff, and Things that are obviously funny. new TWTR.Widget({ version: 2, type: 'profile', rpp: 10, interval: 6000, width: 225, height: 325, theme: { shell: { background: '#ffcc00', color: '#000000' }, tweets: { background: '#000000', color: '#ffffff', links: '#00ffcc' } }, features: { scrollbar: true, loop: false, live: false, hashtags: true, timestamp: true, avatars: false, behavior: 'all' } }).render().setUser('justinjjustin').start(); Tumblr (3.0; @thelongneckgiraffe)http://justinjjustin.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyz83xD24y1qzuqebo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b>Also snubbed in memoriam Oscars 2010. - Bea Arthur</b></p> <p><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0037735/" target="_blank">Dole Office Clerk</a></b>: Occupation? <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000316/" target="_blank">Comicus</a></b>: Stand-up philosopher. <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0037735/" target="_blank">Dole Office Clerk</a></b>: What? <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000316/" target="_blank">Comicus</a></b>: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension. <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0037735/" target="_blank">Dole Office Clerk</a></b>: Oh, a *bullshit* artist! <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000316/" target="_blank">Comicus</a></b>: *Grumble*… <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0037735/" target="_blank">Dole Office Clerk</a></b>: Did you bullshit last week? <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000316/" target="_blank">Comicus</a></b>: No. <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0037735/" target="_blank">Dole Office Clerk</a></b>: Did you *try* to bullshit last week? <br/><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000316/" target="_blank">Comicus</a></b>: Yes!</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/435040666http://justinjjustin.com/post/435040666Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:45:32 -0800<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyuwp9WV7B1qzmopno1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><blockquote> <p>See it.</p> </blockquote>http://justinjjustin.com/post/430346837http://justinjjustin.com/post/430346837Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:21:31 -0800<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zy3fJ8Nmzyw&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zy3fJ8Nmzyw&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>For Christian - Close My eyes Forever</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/429706323http://justinjjustin.com/post/429706323Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:55:27 -0800<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyq7he6t4G1qbn44qo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><blockquote> <p>(via <a href="http://beardrevue.com/post/424974260/profession-as-determined-by-beard-length-via" target="_blank">beardrevue</a>)  Profession, as determined by beard length. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1802219" target="_blank"></a></p> </blockquote> <blockquote></blockquote>http://justinjjustin.com/post/426240352http://justinjjustin.com/post/426240352Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:53:52 -0800<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyqikeF5451qzuqebo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><h3>The Dodge Viper Logo Looks Like Daffy Duck</h3> <p>(via <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/15-logos-that-look-like-other-things" target="_blank">buzzfeed</a>)</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/425242019http://justinjjustin.com/post/425242019Wed, 03 Mar 2010 17:53:02 -0800<object width="400" height="256" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" id="ordie_player_f5a57185bd"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="key=f5a57185bd" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><embed width="400" height="256" flashvars="key=f5a57185bd" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" name="ordie_player_f5a57185bd" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br/><br/><p><h1 class="player_page_h1"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f5a57185bd/funny-or-die-s-presidential-reunion" target="_blank">Funny or Die’s Presidential Reunion</a></h1></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/424596711http://justinjjustin.com/post/424596711Wed, 03 Mar 2010 11:39:14 -0800<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kymkhkebSX1qzmopno1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>(via <a href="http://nickholmes.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">nickholmes</a>)</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/420746104http://justinjjustin.com/post/420746104Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:49:03 -0800<p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Set the recorder here’s the schedule, This is our year <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.nbcolympics.com/tv-listings/zone=PT/sport=CU/index.html"><a href="http://www.nbcolympics.com/CurlingSchedule" target="_blank">www.nbcolympics.com/CurlingSchedule</a></a></span> <span class="meta entry-meta" data="{}"><span></span> </span></span> <a> </a></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">I told my wife I was going to make love to her like a Cross-Country Skier. She said, “You’re more of a Speed Skater. On the Short Track.”</span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Thanks NBC for keeping Bob Costas around, he really is the cherry on top of your shitty coverage.</span> <span class="meta entry-meta" data="{}"><a href="http://twitter.com/justinjjustin/status/9174196861" target="_blank"><span class="published timestamp" data="{time:'Tue Feb 16 06:14:00 +0000 2010'}"></span></a><span><a href="http://echofon.com/" target="_blank"></a></span> </span></span></p> <p><span class="tweet-url hashtag"><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">I giggle every time they say Dick Button’s name.</span></span></span><span class="tweet-url hashtag"><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content"> </span></span></span><a title="#olympictweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23olympictweet" target="_blank"><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content"> <a title="#growup" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23growup" target="_blank">#growup</a></span></span></a><span class="tweet-url hashtag"><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content"><span class="tweet-url hashtag"></span> <span class="tweet-url hashtag"></span></span></span></span><a title="#olympictweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23olympictweet" target="_blank"><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content"><a title="#olympictweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23olympictweet" target="_blank">#olympictweet</a></span></span></a><span class="tweet-url hashtag"><span class="status-body"> </span></span><a title="#olympictweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23olympictweet" target="_blank"><span class="status-body"><span class="meta entry-meta" data="{}"><span></span></span></span></a></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">If Team USA is really listening to the Team USA soundtrack (presented by ATT) we’ve already lost. <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Hey Sweden stick to passing kidney stones, ‘cause you just got ROCKED! USA, USA, USA. <a title="#CurlingSlam" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23CurlingSlam" target="_blank">#CurlingSlam</a> <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">No matter how well Apolo does, I still can’t forgive him for Dancing With the Stars. Hono he didn’t. <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">I felt so out of shape watching the Olympics, so I started watching the Food Network instead. <a title="#FatOlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23FatOlympicTweet" target="_blank">#FatOlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">Enjoying tonights Stereotypes Capades. <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">I yawn every time Apolo speaks. <a title="#OhnoHeDidnt" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OhnoHeDidnt" target="_blank">#OhnoHeDidnt</a> <a title="#OlympicTweet" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23OlympicTweet" target="_blank">#OlympicTweet</a></span></span></p> <p><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">La meilleure partie de la cérémonie fermante n’est plus de Bob Costas. The best part of the closing ceremony is no more Bob Costas.</span></span></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/419978668http://justinjjustin.com/post/419978668Mon, 01 Mar 2010 07:18:04 -0800<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kygs5oGXOx1qzuqebo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“How would I die when I’m 35? How would I die? I’ll tell you how I’d die. I’d take off all my clothes and I’d get into a bathtub filled with ice-cold vodka. I’d have a TV in the room with me and I’d be watching “North by Northwest.” And just when the scene comes with the airplane I’d pull the TV in the bathtub and I’d shock myself! I hate that film.”</p> <p><b><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arizona_Dream" target="_blank">Arizona Dream</a> (1993)</b></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/413754362http://justinjjustin.com/post/413754362Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:44:12 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kyfd0scEM71qzuqebo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>@<a title="Huell Howser" href="http://twitter.com/HuellHowser" target="_blank">HuellHowser</a>: Old photo with my old friends Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn backstage at the Grand Ole Opry in the mid 1970’s!</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/413231496http://justinjjustin.com/post/413231496Fri, 26 Feb 2010 05:19:51 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxycecHVRz1qzuqebo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Leroy “Masochist”<b> </b>Smith, Matt Johnson, Jack Barlow - <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077235/" target="_blank">Big Wednesday</a> (1978)</p> <p>(My other favorite William Katt project.)</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/412100461http://justinjjustin.com/post/412100461Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:32:01 -0800<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://justinjjustin.com/swf/audio_player.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/407566388/tumblr_kybc6eFCNS1qzuqeb&color=FFFFFF" height="27" width="207" quality="best"></embed><br/><br/><ul class="panel"> <li class="track">Play, Guitar, Play by B.P.B (via <a href="http://www.dragcity.com/" target="_blank">Drag City</a>)</li> </ul> <ul> <li> <h2><a href="http://www.dragcity.com/artists/bonnie-prince-billy-and-the-cairo-gang" target="_blank">Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy & The Cairo Gang</a></h2> </li> </ul> <p><img src="http://www.dragcity.com/system/artists/photos/253/large.jpg?1266954852" align="middle" height="225" width="479"/></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/407566388http://justinjjustin.com/post/407566388Tue, 23 Feb 2010 13:16:00 -0800JJJ: Yeah... fuck you<br /> wife: Fuck you too!<br /> JJJ: Fuck you bitch<br /> wife: Fuck you motherfucker<br /> JJJ: You ain't shit anyway, fuck you<br /> wife: You ain't shit, you fat motherfucker<br /> JJJ: Yeah, whatever whatever<br /> wife: Whatever<br /> JJJ: You wasn't saying that when you was sucking my dick<br /> wife: You wasn't saying that when you was eating my pussy! You a nasty motherfucker!<br /> JJJ: Check it, uhh<br /> wife: Crab ass<br /> <br /> ____________<br /> Just kidding it's Notorious B.I.G and Lil Kim singing "Another"<br /> <br /> http://justinjjustin.com/post/401283206http://justinjjustin.com/post/401283206Sat, 20 Feb 2010 14:47:21 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ky3g638vHB1qzuqebo1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Stella (via <a href="http://www.yrbmagazine.com/magazine/article/149/stella" target="_blank">YRB Magazine</a>) talk about life after Stella.</p> <p><span><b>David: </b>Sometimes<b> </b>I’m looking the other way and that’s when life happens.</span></p> <p><span><b>Michael S: </b>The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.</span></p> <p><span><b>Michael B: </b>The one thing I’ve learned is to expect what’s expected.</span></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/398647738http://justinjjustin.com/post/398647738Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:56:00 -0800<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxy4gzaXwt1qzuqebo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001411/" target="_blank">Ralph Hinkley</a></b>: “I’m not quitting my job. How am I supposed to eat? Go down to the welfare office and stand in the Superhero line?”</p> <p><b>HAPPY BIRTHDAY William Katt!!!!</b></p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/393060740http://justinjjustin.com/post/393060740Tue, 16 Feb 2010 09:55:47 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxqd7hcCS91qzvnxpo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This is what I’m making for Valentine’s Day.</p> <blockquote> <p>(via <a href="http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/post/385824028/bacon-cheese-turtleburgers-ground-beef-pattie" target="_blank">thisiswhyyourefat</a><b>) The Bacon Cheese Turtleburgers</b>: Ground beef pattie topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave shell with hot dog head, legs and tail. (submitted by Mark Davis)</p> </blockquote>http://justinjjustin.com/post/388235441http://justinjjustin.com/post/388235441Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:14:30 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxqj8iRWPj1qz8x31o1_250.jpg"/><br/><br/><blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.comedycentral.com/images/shows/colbert_report/downloads/colbertOlympicFairey.pdf" target="_blank">Click here to download a pdf of the poster</a>.</p> <p><a href="http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/files/2010/02/COLBERT-croppedolympic.jpg" target="_blank">Click here to download the Twitter icon</a>.</p> <p>Follow the link for video of the unveiling.</p> <p><a href="http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/2010/02/12/colbert-unveils-his-official-olympic-poster/" target="_blank">Colbert Unveils His Official Olympic Poster</a></p> </blockquote>http://justinjjustin.com/post/385910143http://justinjjustin.com/post/385910143Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:50:47 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxn7ghm8jp1qzuqebo1_r4_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“I’d never done a crazy thing in my life before that night.”</p> <blockquote> <p>Inspired by <a href="http://jonahray.tumblr.com/post/382189052/i-have-proof" target="_blank">Jonah Ray</a> and his <a href="http://jonahray.tumblr.com/post/379688593/dirty-work-still-one-of-my-favorites" target="_blank">great work</a>.</p> </blockquote> <p>*Updated the type. (Thanks for the notes)</p> <blockquote></blockquote>http://justinjjustin.com/post/382423260http://justinjjustin.com/post/382423260Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:28:00 -0800“I know we are not going to watch the Super Bowl, but can we eat like we are?”<br/><br/> - <em>Wife</em>http://justinjjustin.com/post/375242363http://justinjjustin.com/post/375242363Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:08:05 -0800<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxdrf0eTMu1qzsy4qo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><blockquote> <p><a href="http://mattbraunger.tumblr.com/post/372617466/how-the-hell-was-i-never-informed-of-this-toy" target="_blank">mattbraunger</a>: “How the HELL was I never informed of this??? Toy Yoda?  Amazing.”</p> </blockquote> <blockquote></blockquote> <p>I second that Amazing.</p>http://justinjjustin.com/post/372630347http://justinjjustin.com/post/372630347Fri, 05 Feb 2010 10:12:50 -0800